Saturday, April 22, 2006
I don't exactly know what to blog on my blog.
Still, Ima gna keep this blog alive.. somehow.
This week's been a inauspicious week. Or maybe.. its just me?
I shall name (some) what happened
1. Fell in the court, twisted my ankle for 4 days alr & it still hurts
2. Didn't do well for maths paper 1 mock test
3. Passed recent chinese test by 1.5 marks. Pathetic
4. Caught for using phone in class
5. Recieved a text from Mark & starhub during maths class.(its not abt them. it was because it wasn't in silent mode) -.-
6. Did badly for English Oral(worse part: its counted for prelims!)
7. Jasmine injured herself while playing tennis too! -.-
8. Science tutor can't come this week & I've no one reliable to ask abt my physics work
9. My consistency is starting to deteriorate
10. Alex's birthday today & I don't know what to do abt it.
Sometimes, when I ask myself what I want to do in life.. What I want to achieve.. What I want to this & that. I'm in a dillema now. Losing my focus & so on. I'm somehow distracted by something.
I can't figure it out. Thats the annoying part.
Maybe I'm not able to balance between my studies & tennis. I spend so many hours playing tennis every week. Having dinner with my pals after that. It lead to my family & I, difting apart.
I somehow can tell my dad still doesn't exactly trust me when I go out late playing tennis & dinner at jurong east (most of the time with alex) after that. I guess its all because of the news. About missing teenage girls yada yada.
I went out last week with Henryk for lunch & my dad was so paraniod -.- okay, not only my dad both parents. Its been almost a week, they'd still bring it up & talk abt it.
The point I'm trying to say is I'm able to handle situations myself. Just because, I came by home sobbing doesn't mean oh, " the guy I went out with must have done smth to me to hurt me emotionally " Geez.
I had a coversation with my mother abt this. They just don't understand. And the reason why? TRUST.
Trust plays a very important part. Its my fault that I didn't gain enough trust from them anyway, I can't blame them. Its my fault. I shall earn my trust from them (:
All right, I've decided to move on. To move on from the mths that I've hang on for you. I totally wasted my time. I told you before, I've a soft spot for this. I always chose to look on the positive points than your negative ones.
This is another thing abt trust. You forgive someone expecting the person will not repeat the same mistakes. He ends up repeating it! It was the last thing I hung on to.
Let this be a memorable memory for me to reminisce when I talk abt the past. Maybe I'll never. Its a silly mistake I've made to give you all my trust & to forgive you time & time again.
Happy 18th birthday.
12:07 AM
