I was planning to blog last night but somehow, blogger wasn't exactly in working condition.
So anyway, started by day with 3 hours of maths. Boy, maths was super difficult la. It was so confusing & I've got to try at least 4 times for each question. Man, I doubt that I'm ready for o levels maths. I tried la but hell it was seriously difficult.

But hey, I'm still determined(: I'm highly motivated to do well.

Although there's a devil inside me feeling insecure. I'm still determined to balance between tennis & my studies.

Okay, so I had maths & physics tuition before I played tennis with Alex & Ian. Man, A made me so pissed in courts today la I swear with his plan F.

Anyway A's been tricking for the 2nd consecutive day. I must say that uh, I'm quite gullible. ASKLDJSADJASJKDSA

Well on the other side, it makes me laugh & everything so I don't feel so much tension. I think playing tennis is a way for me to de-stress other than doing cardio in the gym.

I think I'm neglecting my humanities subjects since I've been focusing on maths, accounts, mother tongue & physics.

Okay, I'm meeting Jasmine tmrw! I'm so excited didn't play with her for abt 1 week!

Okok, I shall stop here. Cherrio!

11:09 PM

It's funny how every living thing is selfish in some shape or form. Be it a human, or even an insignificant plant. everything revolves around it's own survival, whatever the cost.

Vines climb over existing plants and trees in a neverending race to reach sunlight and block out the sun for other plants in the process. It's something we don't notice, why? because it does not bother us directly.

That's the thing huh. If something weren't to affect us on a personal level, we wouldn't give a damn about it, but that may just allow it the opportunity to come back and bite us in the ass.

And by it I mean something bad. Like a tactical nuclear war or a simple act like smoking a ciggarette. (by the way each ciggarette reduces your lifespan by eleven minutes. nope not ten, not twelve, not ten and a half. eleven minutes!) there are always repurcussions.

But it's weird how when something good happens to us, we tend to forget that it ever happened? Yeah we appreciate it, but soon enough we'd forget and the appreciation fades away.

The truth is, it's tiring to stay grateful. We remember the bad more than we remember the good. I'm over-generalising by the way. It is all about ourselves, every man for himself, carve your heart out yourself, I want this piece of chicken you want you ownself take!

Maybe its time, its time to think abt others too. Think about what is empathy..

Got this off from http://down-.diaryland.com/ungrateful.html

4:25 PM

Hullo blog, someone requested me to keep blogging. As in, daily blogging. I'm with her in the computer lab now doing f&n research.

Each day I'm dreading school. The classes are getting boring. Now I only pay attention during maths. Not exactly pay attention but, you know doing work instead of doing something ineffective to me. Yeah

I'm been attending tuition since tuesday & studying with Z after school. I've neglected tennis. Haiyooo! I think that uh, studies is much more important than tennis now. Untill my major exms are over I shall concentrate on tennis again. (;

Now, my world revolves around studies, tennis, family & friends.

I shall post up afew pictures of Z&i later when I get home from school & tuition.
Tomorrow is the end of weekdays again. 4 more days closer to the official start of exams.

Come on, Anna. Just 2 more weeks & you can concentrate on tennis for afew more weeks & then focus on n levels, Anna! (!@*!&*(!@&*!# All right, encouraging with myself. Heh

Okay, toodles to my daily readers. Study hard!

3:44 PM

Hello blog, I've decided to blog again.
I'm feeling so much better now although I still get some random stomach contractions here & there. The best part is that I can eat spicy food now and not to worry if I'm gonna puke it out later. hehe

I went of drip on sunday midnight. Damn, it hurts like fuck I swear! !@&^!#@# The doctor shoved the needle into my left hand & couldn't find the vein.
Later then shoved another into my right hand -.-

Here, I took two shots while lying on the hospital bed. Oh, the bed was too short for me. I couldn't stretch my legs out. Hahaha!


It was my first being hospitalized & hopefully, the last time.


That's my worried sick mother at 2am. The doctor thought she was my "aunty" aka maid ):

Okay, english paper cleared. A week more and its the official start of the mids! Gassssp! *@(#&(@#&!

I can't exactly say that I'm coping my maths now. I was on the verge of crying cos I forgot some of my basics which result losing marks unnecessarily. But still, held back my tears like what I usually do. Unless it was really smth serious that I'll burst out crying infront of my classmates you know? Haha

So I've decided to cut down on tennis from now onwards untill Z gets her club membership & mother nature's on our side. (: I hope she'll be on our side after the exams end. (;

Yesterday was my anti-depressant's birthday. I totally forgot to wish him. And yes, he was unhappy abt it yada yada. He accepted my excuse. So its all right now. Happy 16th birthday you! <3<3 And all the best for your HCL no worries all right?

Oh, and thanks angel for your letter & chocolate (: I wanted to send you a letter of appriciation but then, Mrs Tang got hold of it first before you could even see it Haha (;

Oh yesyes, I'm so sorry Jasmine that we had to cancle of tennis game tonight. ):
We'll play on friday all right, dearest? (;

Study hard everyone!

8:05 PM

Okay, I'm down with food poisioning. It was the second time I had food poisioning at Izumi. My parents are unhappy about it.

First, it was the eel thingy. Now, its the chicken.

I spent half of the day seating infront of the toilet bowl spewing for 6 times alr. I can't have any consumption of liquid or food.

Its been a very bad week. The worse week i've ever had for this year. Friends & I getting hurt & me? food poisioning-.- having stomach contactions suck, I swear it feels like someone giving me a punch on my stomach!

The "best" part is that english mid years is in 2 days time! How am I gonna cope with all this? I think I'm unable to balance tennis with studies for now.

Its been a roller coaster ride & so many challeges for me to face mentally, physically & emotionally. There's like a battle going on inside me you know. That kind of weird feeling.

I can't afford to side track! askldasjas


Anyway, I shall update soon. Maybe after a week or so.

1:55 PM

I don't exactly know what to blog on my blog.
Still, Ima gna keep this blog alive.. somehow.

This week's been a inauspicious week. Or maybe.. its just me?
I shall name (some) what happened

1. Fell in the court, twisted my ankle for 4 days alr & it still hurts
2. Didn't do well for maths paper 1 mock test
3. Passed recent chinese test by 1.5 marks. Pathetic
4. Caught for using phone in class
5. Recieved a text from Mark & starhub during maths class.(its not abt them. it was because it wasn't in silent mode) -.-
6. Did badly for English Oral(worse part: its counted for prelims!)
7. Jasmine injured herself while playing tennis too! -.-
8. Science tutor can't come this week & I've no one reliable to ask abt my physics work
9. My consistency is starting to deteriorate
10. Alex's birthday today & I don't know what to do abt it.

Sometimes, when I ask myself what I want to do in life.. What I want to achieve.. What I want to this & that. I'm in a dillema now. Losing my focus & so on. I'm somehow distracted by something.

I can't figure it out. Thats the annoying part.

Maybe I'm not able to balance between my studies & tennis. I spend so many hours playing tennis every week. Having dinner with my pals after that. It lead to my family & I, difting apart.

I somehow can tell my dad still doesn't exactly trust me when I go out late playing tennis & dinner at jurong east (most of the time with alex) after that. I guess its all because of the news. About missing teenage girls yada yada.

I went out last week with Henryk for lunch & my dad was so paraniod -.- okay, not only my dad both parents. Its been almost a week, they'd still bring it up & talk abt it.

The point I'm trying to say is I'm able to handle situations myself. Just because, I came by home sobbing doesn't mean oh, " the guy I went out with must have done smth to me to hurt me emotionally " Geez.

I had a coversation with my mother abt this. They just don't understand. And the reason why? TRUST.

Trust plays a very important part. Its my fault that I didn't gain enough trust from them anyway, I can't blame them. Its my fault. I shall earn my trust from them (:

All right, I've decided to move on. To move on from the mths that I've hang on for you. I totally wasted my time. I told you before, I've a soft spot for this. I always chose to look on the positive points than your negative ones.

This is another thing abt trust. You forgive someone expecting the person will not repeat the same mistakes. He ends up repeating it! It was the last thing I hung on to.

Let this be a memorable memory for me to reminisce when I talk abt the past. Maybe I'll never. Its a silly mistake I've made to give you all my trust & to forgive you time & time again.

Happy 18th birthday.

12:07 AM

Hello fellow breathing creatures, I broke my own promise. I did not study today. Left school during recess to SGH for x-ray & got everything done.

My parents were paranoid that I've got a hair line crack on my foot. So decided to bring me there for a check. Okay, so now I officially don't have a fracture & can officially play tennis on the 25th apr.

But do you think I'll listen to the doctor? Heh, I will. Unless I'm feeling better & my right feet is stable for shuttle run around the court & work outs. I'm starting to feel like I'm fatter again. I didn't work out for this whole weeeeeek! R@!#*(@&#

Thanks A & J for companying me down to the general office & searching high & low for Miss C. Thanks, really appreciate it! I hope your punishment for being late for h&f won't be serious. ):

Thanks for the concern everyone(:

I think I should start catching up with my work & tmrw we've got a early day & meeting J aft school! :D:D

7:44 PM

Tears of emotions running through my head.
I'm glad to say that I've feel so much better for Z starting the covnersation with me. The (approximately) 1 hr heart to heart talk

I've never felt so good abt myself. As in, mentally & everything.

Really, I gotta thank Z & J for supporting behing me. I'm really glad that I've friends like both of you(: Definately added more rainbows & colours to my life.

I've decided to get nVision! jumps around.

Tennis was superb today! Dispite the lightning & thunder, J, A, D & I played mixed doubles. :D:D Without J, A & F playing tennis with me since for the past few months almost 5 times per week really improved my tennis. Million thanks you you guys! Especially J la I tell you that girl's backhand drive. Haha! Without her, I can't possibly improve. (:

Oh, had lunch with H today & delifrance. I spend an hr waiting for that royal buttcrack(not literally) to arrive. The waitress & manager was staring at me. So I spent an hr to finish my iced latte waiting for H.

Conversation wise was all right(:

Gna study with Z tmrw after school & then tuition at home. All right see you, humans.

10:50 PM

Been playing tennis for 3 days stright! With Z, J, J, A, K, K's dad, Z & F. Doubles with them been always fun(: I think we should have a groupie picture soon together soon. Haha!

I got the nVision demo racquet. I think I can play better with nVision rather than nTour. So I'm gonna try nVision for these few days before I decide if I should get the nVision.

The best part is my dad agreed I can get the racquet! I was quite surprised that he actually agreed without any hesitation. Normally he whines before he agrees. Haha! However, I don't wish the neglect my nTour the same time. I didn't touch it tonight. ): Haha!

This week's been totally enjoying tennis with my pals, studying & everything. But I still feel all right.

OHOH!! Had 2.4km run today. I must say I've improved. Heh.

I've never calculated my monthly expenses before. Z called me on weds & we were talking abt our studies & everything. So I decieded to calculate my monthly expenses in trainings, food & tuition fees. It totalled to a amt of approx $1220. faints

At least what I can do as a daughter to keep my dad carefree that he doesn't have to worry abt me not doing well & everything. I hope he will still here when I'm getting married. & everything. Family is my main pillars of support eventhough sometimes I do keep secrets & everything ah.

Oh, I think I've set my priorities right & so on. I realised it was a mistake I made last week. So I shall move on, carry on studying & play tennis with my pals. Its the first time in my life that I could actually balance my studying periods, tuition & tennis well and at the same time, scoring well in tests. Eventhough I failed the latest chi test by 1.5 marks due to "slipped away" Anna for 3 days.

As I said before you know, I studied for it. But I guess I did not put enough effort to it to do well.

Anyway, I want nlevels to end. Fast. I'm getting tired of studying. Maybe moe should place all the major exams together, get over & done with & do well. Pass with flyyyying colours (:

Bah, meeting H for lunch in town tmrw. Hopefully it won't be a rushed situation !@*&@#& screws everything up. Suppose to eat during good friday anyway. Okay, end here!

Study hard everyone!

11:28 PM

School training today again. Its the last training before cca stops for the mid years, maybe for the prelims & n levels?

I doubt that I'll attend trainings if there is after mid years. I want total focus on my work & I'll keep myself busy the whole day.

I've planned my routine.

● wake up
● go school (pay attention during class & try not to sleep during maths & english)
● save money (don't eat recess)
● dad drives me home aft school
● tuition after school. 3 hours for each subject have to understand the tutor is teaching before stepping out of his house. At least one subject/topic per day. The most, 1 maths topic & 1 chapter of physics & bio
● tennis with Jasmine & Alex 4 times per week minimum 2 hours each. (cut down on tennis if I cannot cope)
● gym two times per week 45 minutes each cardio & weights mixed 4 reps.
● catch up with Zhenli during the weekends
● go home, computer for 1-2 hours
● homework for 1-2.5 hours
● pack school bag
● leave post it notes around my room for last minute work
● sleep by latest 1am

Okay, that will be my routine from today onwards if nothing goes wrong during the weekends. (:

I'm in the mids of picking myself up now. I'm really glad that I can overcome it so fast & nothing (I hope) will pull me down again. I can't afford to lose my focus. I really can't. Do well for n levels & play later. Yes, do well for n levels & play later.

I don't know why. If ****** ***** ***** again, I know I will make an exceptional. Don't ask me why. I'm still mentally & emotionally unstable.

Okay, update tmrw again. Or maybe if I've something to blog abt when I'm back from chi tuition ah.

5:19 PM

I shall have a proper post today.
Woke up feeling lost.
Surprisingly, I was still on the bed when it was 5 minutes to 7am. My dad over slept today. That happens 1 in 6 months.

Fast forward
I fell asleep during physics & yeah, Mrs Tang teased me -.-
Had make up training today. We did physical for the first time this year! Its the first time since Grace, Mindy & I dropped to advanced team again.

Played tennis with Jasmine at club for 2 hours. I was totally off form. I knew I wasn't mentally stable. I was feeling emotional.

I guess its wrong for me not to speak to anyone abt it. Venting my anger on the balls didn't help abit. I was feeling even worse.

Oftentimes, I dont understand myself and the way I function. I try really hard, but somehow I failed. Sometimes, I feel I've got no emotions & most of the time, so emotional.

Is that pms?

I knew everything was coming. I knew all along. I knew I wasn't mentally ready for this. I knew I won't be able to accept the consequences of what we've done. I knew all along. But I gave in. I gave in for you.

What you've whispered to my ears is on a replay mode. It hurts, cos I fell for you.
Viva forever, I'll be waiting.
Everlasting like the sun.

10:07 PM

Helluva week for me.
With new experiences.
I can't possibly say that everything was really bad & so on.
Part of it didn't felt good like the ********* part.
Maybe when I hesitated gazillion time caused it to ****
I won't say much because its private.

Zhenli, I'm so sorry that I've neglected you because of ******. I promise you there won't be a next time! :D

Anyway, I'm really sorry honey. What if I tell you I'm ready now?

Back to the usual. Tennis was pretty boring. Zhen li & I played doubles against Fred & Ian. What do you think? Hahaha, nevermind its all right. Right, Zhenli? We've got some pretty good shots too! hehe :D:D

I'm going club today again for gym I guess. & If alex can make it for tennis with me in the evening after his match, I don't mind(: Oh, good luck to you both for the matches! :D:D

8:42 AM

Its end of the week again.
I can't possibly say that its a good week or anything.
Due to my mother tongue test grade ):
Don't talk abt it. Its my first time I failed when I studied for the test. Sigh!

Okay, I came home watched CSI season 1 & I finished watching within a week. :D:D:D
All right, I know I'm abit slow cos AXN is showing CSI season 6 or something. I've decided to catch all the previous seasons first:D

Played tennis & gymed with Alex today & Jasmine didn't come today! :/ Played for 1.5 hrs. And I almost beat Alex. Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, okay score wasn't that bad this time. 4-6. Its all right, I will beat you soon.

Went to the gym for 15 minutes so just did some weights here and there.

When you come back, baby.. I'll wear your wedding ring (: I love you!

All right thats all. 14 days more

11:30 PM

Whoa, I'm very tired. After 4 hours of tennis with Zhenli, Fred & Alex, Dinner with Fred & Alex & then mac's ice cream cone as dessert, I'm very tired.

This is a short clip of Alex flidding with my phone.


Watch the last part. What Frederick was doing. Haha!

Rah, I'm so bored & tired now. I didn't go for volunteer work today. I'm too tired & didn't have enough time to go for even 1 hour of volunteer work.

I'm too tired for this. I'm too tired for that. I've no idea why. I think I should do something effective in my life once again & maintaining it that way(:

Okay, 20 more days. 20 more days..

Okay, I'll end here.

11:35 PM

I am Anna Lee, a Singaporean living in Singapore.
I'm turning 17 on 21st July.
Graduating from CHIJ this year.

I've strong passion in Tennis.
I belive with Determination & Persistance anything is possible.

I've the greatest bestfriend
in the world, Zephyr.
Last but not least, blissfully in Love
with Michael Gui.


Friendster

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